Friend: If you had a superpower, which one would you choose?
we need to talk about shrek more
Literally all the internet talks about is Shrek
Wait so in order to shoot this commercial they actually gave two little kids dildos and said go fight with these
double wait…they used kids playing with dildos to promote gun safety?
This is fucking amazing to me…
See, she didn’t lock up her dildos so they naturally thought they were swords, thus then playing with them.
Now, if she had forgotten to lock up her guns and the kids started playing with them…
See where I’m getting at?
#seriously#they weren’t kidding how kids will play with anything they see#one of my cousins was messing with matches once#almost burn himself#lock up your stuff#hide it properly#PLEASE (via archmasterjazzy)
my daughter found my “toy box” once… so yes… this scenerio does happen, they play with everything and anything.
Lock up your guns, but also PLEASE TEACH YOUR CHILDREN WHY YOU DON’T PLAY WITH THEM.
Education is best. Yes, lock them up. But also teach them boundaries and they won’t be looking through shit in the first plae.
Dont have kids!
He definitely got a patch for sodomy.
As a former boy scout this hella turns me on
ur shirt doesn’t fit
LOOK HOW MANY FLYERS HAVE BEEN STUck on tHIS LAMPOST?? germans are crazy
there is no lamp post its pure flyer
You could carbon date this to the ice age
"their chicken is really spicy"
"beware, the injera is spicy"
"the water is spicy"
"the air was spicy"
"The staff was very rude"
"The dim sum restaurant didn’t have a menu"
"They gave me chopsticks"
"They asked me to wash my hands before I sat down to eat, something about traditions? I was humiliated"
"The staff didn’t speak English"
"The chair was spicy"
"The ice was spicy"
"Service was great. Food was great. Couldn’t find parking" - 1 star
'my napkins were only one ply. no free breadsticks”- 1/2 star
"the staff was spicy"
Classic from American Horror Story
the american school system
how do boys actually dry their ducks after they shower like
do you just grab it in the towel and roll it between your hands like a dough snake
or do you swing it around to air dry
I need to know
Observations: “Vince Gilligan has famously said that Breaking Bad is the story of how Mr. Chips becomes Scarface. And it’s true, and that’s the exciting, attention-getting way of putting it. But it is equally, and heartbreakingly, the story of the journey from ‘Will do. Love you’ to ‘You stupid bitch! How dare you.’”
– from James Poniewozik’s review of Ozymandias